I get to see this on my run sometimes. It’s a very simple fountain. Installed in a retention pond. And it changes everything.
Makes me think of how much the little things can make such a big difference. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how you package something – that something is awesome or terrible no matter what. But I think that’s the exception.
I think in many ways and in most cases, that little touch makes all the difference. I think it’s worth it to strive for those little things. Looking someone in the eye as you deliver good news. Sending a hand-written card instead of an email. Putting on some festive earrings. Details matter. Packaging matters. The little touches matter.
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”
One year ago today, I said goodbye one final time to my beloved boy, Ollie.
Despite severe epilepsy, a bad and rare reaction to prednisone, and two ACL replacements, he lived almost 13 years. Unfortunately, the epilepsy slowly took his mind and personality and caused real suffering at the very end. I regret he suffered that last night; as fellow dog mommies and daddies out there, I know you understand needing to be absolutely sure it’s time before you make the ultimate decision.
That being said, I want to spend time remembering all the love and joy he brought to my life. He was such a good good boy. Obedient, smart, silly, loving, and cute. From the way he pranced instead of walked, managed to sneeze in your face and step on your feet, was incapable of being anything but in the way, and how he’d approach you all happy and seeking attention but as soon as you’d try to touch his face he’d turn away, to being the world’s best snuggler, butterfly chaser, and strangest wrestler (putting his butt up in the air as he wrestled with a toy), and so so much more. He was simply, frustratingly, and endearingly the best.
I could post probably millions of pictures of Ollie from his almost 13 years. He dominated my camera roll. The featured pic for this post is one of my all-time favorite pics of him. Here is a collage I put together shortly after he passed away of pictures of him and me together. The single pic of him and me I found later on an old phone. It’s one of my favs too.
Ollie’s passing was the first big step toward me moving to Florida, although I didn’t realize it at the time. The loneliness I felt after he passed was overwhelming. It spurred me to awaken to how much I was putting on hold to prioritize work.
Some final notes, if you are nearing the end with a beloved pet, consider Lap of Love. They come to your home and are consummate caring professionals. Thank you to everyone who sent me cards, gifts, prayers, and love after Ollie passed. It meant more than I can say. Thank you to Trinda, who helped care for my boy in his final months. If you’re looking for some drop in pet care, she’s your lady (message me and I can give you her contact info). And finally, thank you Monica, for being Ollie’s mom away from home and for being there for both of us, always.
I love you Ollie and I miss you. Be a good boy until I see you again. 💙
I am officially a server again! And it feels pretty good. I had my first solo shift last night.
A few of the things I appreciated:
The drive to work, where I cross a bridge and see water and boats. (Florida’s coast is lined with barrier islands. So unlike the Jersey shore, where you’re at the beach once you’re at the coast, in Florida, you need to cross a bridge to get to the barrier island and then get to the beach.)
My first table complimented my smile and my positivity.
Kindness. Everyone at my tables and on staff were super kind.
The drive home. It’s nice enough at 10 pm still to open my sun roof, through which I had a nice view of the stars. I spotted Pleiades and Cassiopeia.
My mom. She just had to take a picture of me as I was heading to work. Then she wanted to hear all about my night when I got home.
View from my car on the bridge. Picture doesn’t do it justice.Ready to work!
First, let me apologize for not posting for the last ten days or so. I went on vacation and am just now getting back into the swing of things. Well, really, moving forward into a new normal.
I saw this Christmas display on my run this morning. And I thought it was a great analogy for where I’m at right now.
Life in Florida is my new normal. It’s not the same as Pennsylvania. It doesn’t have the same feel. But it’s good. Just a little awkward still, and downright silly at times.
I’m still not really settled. I’m not acclimated to my new life and new role yet. To be fair, this is a transition period still so I guess I shouldn’t be expecting too much.
I start my new waitressing job in full force tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I can remember being so ready to be done working nights, weekends, and holidays. Sixteen years later, and I’m loving the idea of sleeping in until it’s actually light out and am impartial to working nights and weekends. By the way, why is it so hard to find a long sleeved button down collared black shirt?! Whatever happened to stores that had mens dress shirts aplenty?!
Anyway, with change comes discomfort, uneasiness, awkwardness, and difficulty. With change also comes excitement, opportunity, and growth. I’m doing my best to stay optimistic and not too hard on myself about acclimating to my new normal. I mean, Santa on a jet ski is pretty fun even if it’s not necessarily traditional, right?!
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing,15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Philippians 2:12-15 (NIV)
After people hear that I quit my very good job and moved to Florida, their next question usually is, “so what are you going to do next?” Well, my plan is to finish my dissertation this spring and wait tables to make some money while I do that. I would also like to continue to explore the job market and see what else is out there that might be a good fit.
Once my dissertation is complete, the plan is to explore teaching at a college/university. My pie-in-the-sky dream right now involves writing a book, being a motivational speaker, and supporting public educators everywhere.
But let’s take things one step at a time. Waiting tables… It has been 16 years since I waited tables. I’ve eaten plenty of food and drank plenty of spirits since then so I would consider myself still in the (relative) know about food and beverage service. However, sixteen years is a lot. Last time I waited tables I was 25. I’m 41 now.
This makes me think of the first time I played in the teacher vs student volleyball tournament as a teacher. In my mind, I could still play as well as I did the last time I played (when I was 17). But the looks of dismay and concern as I screeched across the gym floor, as I unnecessarily dove for a ball, said otherwise. My body also said otherwise. And that was after only an 8-year gap. This is twice as much.
I applied for my first server job tonight, in person. Given the 16-year gap on my food service resume, I felt it was important to go in and talk face-to-face with someone. I was pretty much offered the job on the spot. My serving history probably had something to do with that, my professional history may have as well, but mostly I think it’s because they’re so desperate for help.
I’m not sure this place is the right fit for me. I’m also not sure I can actually do this. But I guess I’m going to give them a few hours Friday night to give it a try and maybe find out. In the meantime I’m going to apply at a few other places and see how it all shakes out.
I’m really missing everyone today. I love you all so much and I miss you. I miss being there for you and with you. I’m trying to embrace the quiet and the new space and what it means for me. I’m trying for me and for you. ❤️
I started the day out by sleeping in until 7:30. This might not seem like sleeping in, but for someone who got up at 5:30 am every work day for years, it is. It was nice to stay in bed until the sun was out.
I decided today would be my first run. And let me clarify quickly that I use the word “run” loosely here. I laced up and headed out. It was gorgeous. 53 degrees, mostly sunny, with shadows cast by the rising sun.
My self talk can be kind of head trashy during runs. Today wasn’t too bad for that. I did have thoughts about wishing I was a faster runner, but then I passed some older folks who were walking and I thought to myself, “they probably see me running and wish they could still run. I should be grateful that I can run, even if it’s not very fast.”
And that’s the crux of today. Gratitude. It’s an attitude and it’s so important. I was inspired by a text from a friend today about being grateful. Instead of being unhappy that I didn’t sleep longer, I was grateful to sleep until the sun was up. Instead of beating myself up for a slow pace (on my first run in weeks), I was grateful to be out running at all. Instead of missing my boy, I’m going to cherish the joy-filled times I had with him.
Appreciate what you have. Especially your health. When you don’t have that, it’s hard to have much else. Be grateful for all things, big and small.
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Today was unexpectedly rainy, but still warmer than back in PA. We started our day seeing a stork by the pond out back. He was cute, standing on his tall legs with his wings at his sides. He looked much more stork-like once he took to the air. Here’s a picture of the view out back, no stork in it though.
Then we went and had coffee and pastries at the 1420 Coffee Shop. Delish!
From there we ventured to Round Island Beach Park, where we were hoping we might see some manatees. No such luck with that but we did enjoy taking in the serene sights and other fauna like birds, lizards, and jumping fish.
Do you see the jumping fish?
The rain held off just long enough for us to spend some time at the park. As the rain picked back up, we drove north on A1A, all the way to Sebastian Inlet State Park, taking in some local beach sights.
After some rest and relaxing this afternoon, we had a delicious meal at Italian Cousin before taking BA to her hotel near the Orlando Sanford airport.
I got one final big hug from Betty Anne as we said goodbye for now. I’m so grateful to her for joining me on this journey. She was great company and a good sport all along the way. Who would’ve thought, when she said several months ago she wouldn’t let me drive to Florida alone, that this is how things would turn out. God is great. And so are amazing people, like Betty Anne.
Today Betty Anne and I went on an air boat ride! We saw gators and birds and lots of beautiful flora. I’ve been on this tour once before, in late June. At that time, since it was hot, you could only see the gators’ nostrils and eyes popping up slightly out of the water. Since it’s “getting colder” now, the gators are moving up onto land areas so you can see almost their whole bodies.
We spent some time driving around Vero, laying by the pool, and napping. Then we went for dinner at Captain Hiram’s in Sebastian, which is the next town north of Vero Beach. It was a lovely day again.
Well , today was rough… BA had to have shoofly pie for breakfast, a mimosa before noon, and a Pain Killer with lunch…
It was a beautiful day in Vero, despite lingering winds and choppy seas from the storm this weekend. And it was a great day. We both slept really well and slept in. We had some breakfast and took care of a little business and then headed over to my sister’s house.
We sat by her pool, listening to the fountain, soaking up some sun, chatting, and sipping mimosas.
Then BA and I headed to the island to Waldo’s for a Pusser’s Pain Killer and some lunch. We sat by the ocean and enjoyed the sound and smell of the surf. I’ve never seen the ocean here so muddled, nor have I seen such big waves here. It was still a lovely sight to behold though.
After lunch, we drove a few minutes south to a public beach access point. We set up close to the water. I may or may not have dozed off while BA watched the surf and even dipped her toes in. The wind was a little strong at times, but so was the sun.
We were so drained from our busy day that we both took naps after we got home. And now we’re hanging out while mom makes dinner.
In all, it was another wonderful day of sunshine and quality time with friends and family.
8+ hours and we’re finally in Vero Beach, FL! We had another leisurely start to the day, especially because of turning the clocks back.
Our first stop was at Buc-ees. Holy crap. What an experience. Steve told us we should stop there if possible – that it’s like a Cracker Barrel combined with a Sheetz on steroids – and boy was he right! It was an experience in and of itself.
It was another lovely day for a drive. Traffic was okay most of the time. Waze took us another way than we had planned, saying it was 24 minutes shorter, and it worked out okay. I’ve learned to trust Waze. It’s a pretty great app. About an hour after I told BA people don’t really abuse the app to put incorrect alerts out, we started getting a bunch of nonsense alerts. Oh well…
We tried stopping at Cracker Barrel. Waited 20 minutes for a table. Then, after about 3 minutes at the table, we decided to leave. It was super busy, one table near us was complaining to the manager, and another table near us was sitting waiting for their waitress (and had been seated ten minutes before us). Although it was a shame to waste half an hour, we were glad we left and didn’t waste any more time.
Three and a half hours later, we made it to Vero and clinked our glasses:)
We had a nice (and crazy) dinner with family and now we’re settling in at my mom’s place. She and BA are getting along swimmingly:)
J.I.L.L. 