Have I mentioned that I am loving waiting tables?! I get to meet such amazing, interesting, and kind people.
I met a man recently who was celebrating completing his first half marathon. He is 91 years old. And he and his wife have been married for 66 years. Just amazing.
I also met a couple recently to whom I mentioned a bit about my story and my blog. As we talked about my unknown future, the lovely lady said she likes to call that “delicious ambiguity.” No matter how things turn out, they will be good. I told her I loved the saying and that I might post about it. Well, here it is!
And here’s to all the wonderful things you can learn from talking with people. Love. It is the absolute most important thing in the world.
I think I have to disagree. Is that okay? I’m committed to no longer listening to my head trash, but I’m not sure I’m capable of blindly believing/repeating something I found on a random website without at least running it through the Jill mill.
My natural inclination toward all things science has always lead me to be a questioner. I believe wholeheartedly in the power of questioning. It will either reaffirm your initial opinion or it will help change it. Either outcome is good. What worries me is when things aren’t questioned.
In this case I go beyond science to faith. I am not whole just as I am if I am without God. And I don’t want to be without God. I tried that. It didn’t work. At all.
I could spend another paragraph or two debating also that people lose themselves, get lost, or are otherwise less than whole, for a lot of reasons. But I will spare us all that tangent for now.
So, in my typical fashion, I am going to look at this in such a way that it is still positive and beneficial. After questioning this second self affirmation statement, I feel reaffirmed in faith. And I propose this small yet incredibly important change to the statement: I am whole just as I am, in the Lord God.
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 5:23 NIV
Addendum from a dear sweet friend: Isaiah 43:1-2 are beautiful promises also. “But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
As my big move was looming, I was fortunate to get to spend some quality time with great friends. At dinner one night with two of them, we talked about how a struggle I was probably going to face was wrestling with the quiet. My move was effectively removing a lot of noise from my life. And I needed to be aware of embracing the quiet, not just refilling my life with noise.
Well, I’ve found that has come true. However, not quite like I had imagined. Instead of refilling my life with external noise, I’ve allowed internal noise in. Which might be even more distracting.
Without my career, my friends, and my material accomplishments, I’ve lost some of my identity and sense of self worth. It took another conversation with a friend to identify this is what’s been going on.
And, I’m actually okay with this “loss” because we really shouldn’t find our self worth in those external things anyway. Rather, our self worth should come from being our flawed, unique, and lovely selves.
Starting today, I’m taking back control. Step by step. Piece by piece. I’m pushing out the head trash and replacing it with positive self affirmations.
More than likely you have some external or internal noise that’s distracting you from feeling your true self worth too. If you’re so inclined, take some time to reflect on that and the following two quotes:
J.I.L.L. 