I’ve signed up to follow some inspirational and positive Twitter accounts. Here’s what my feed looked like at one point recently:
For those of you who know me, you know I love quotes. And I have yours that you gave me close at heart in Florida, figuratively and literally.
Too often social media divides or depresses. But it doesn’t have to.
I like these quotes (and I LOVE the Golden Retriever Channel on Twitter.) These are little touches too that can help make a big difference.
And like the first quote, by William Feather, it’s important not only to bring these little instances of joy into each day, it’s also important to notice and appreciate them.
Just saying I’m going to work on improving my sense of self worth isn’t enough. I need concrete steps. Setting boundaries is a great way to start.
I like this list (even though the wording of the last bullet doesn’t fit with the way all the other bullets are worded). I’m going to try to set some boundaries based on these.
I also did a little searching for Bible verses related to setting boundaries. The following verse isn’t as much about setting boundaries as it’s about staying with them.
“Don’t be misled – you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant… so let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
I tend to beat myself up over things. For example, I’ll replay situations in my mind and think of all the different ways I should have responded. And I’ll feel silly, stupid, not empathetic enough, not assertive enough, and the list goes on. I know I am my own harshest critic.
Toward others, though, I am the essence of loving, kind, caring, empathetic, and gracious. I am a believer and a cheerleader and a fan. I absolutely love people. I love their quirks and “flaws.” I cannot help but see the good in them.
I was once asked why I’m not as gracious with myself as I am with others. I had no good answer. Still don’t. And instead of wasting time thinking of an answer for that, I’m going to flip the narrative.
This third self affirmation statement has me thinking that I should be able to love myself as unconditionally as I love others. I love thee and thus I should be able to love me. That’s it. I’m not going to make it any more complicated than that.
I think I have to disagree. Is that okay? I’m committed to no longer listening to my head trash, but I’m not sure I’m capable of blindly believing/repeating something I found on a random website without at least running it through the Jill mill.
My natural inclination toward all things science has always lead me to be a questioner. I believe wholeheartedly in the power of questioning. It will either reaffirm your initial opinion or it will help change it. Either outcome is good. What worries me is when things aren’t questioned.
In this case I go beyond science to faith. I am not whole just as I am if I am without God. And I don’t want to be without God. I tried that. It didn’t work. At all.
I could spend another paragraph or two debating also that people lose themselves, get lost, or are otherwise less than whole, for a lot of reasons. But I will spare us all that tangent for now.
So, in my typical fashion, I am going to look at this in such a way that it is still positive and beneficial. After questioning this second self affirmation statement, I feel reaffirmed in faith. And I propose this small yet incredibly important change to the statement: I am whole just as I am, in the Lord God.
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 5:23 NIV
Addendum from a dear sweet friend: Isaiah 43:1-2 are beautiful promises also. “But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
As my big move was looming, I was fortunate to get to spend some quality time with great friends. At dinner one night with two of them, we talked about how a struggle I was probably going to face was wrestling with the quiet. My move was effectively removing a lot of noise from my life. And I needed to be aware of embracing the quiet, not just refilling my life with noise.
Well, I’ve found that has come true. However, not quite like I had imagined. Instead of refilling my life with external noise, I’ve allowed internal noise in. Which might be even more distracting.
Without my career, my friends, and my material accomplishments, I’ve lost some of my identity and sense of self worth. It took another conversation with a friend to identify this is what’s been going on.
And, I’m actually okay with this “loss” because we really shouldn’t find our self worth in those external things anyway. Rather, our self worth should come from being our flawed, unique, and lovely selves.
Starting today, I’m taking back control. Step by step. Piece by piece. I’m pushing out the head trash and replacing it with positive self affirmations.
More than likely you have some external or internal noise that’s distracting you from feeling your true self worth too. If you’re so inclined, take some time to reflect on that and the following two quotes:
J.I.L.L. 